Kissing Scout
by munchkinjenny05
Summary: ONESHOT. Set after series 7 episode 15. Emily James is in love with her best friend and she doesn't know what to do.


**Disclaimer: I do not own this show or its characters. This is all for fun.**

**Ok so here is a simple little oneshot set after the events of series 7 episode 15. I have no idea if anyone besides me with ever even read this but I HAD TO write it. Emily was giving me serious gay vibes!**

_I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay._ Emily had taken to repeating this every morning in front of the mirror. Not aloud of course, she was confused not stupid. It wasn't that Emily had anything against gay people, she wasn't homophobic or anything, it was just that she couldn't be like that. Not now. Feelings for a certain girl were off-limits. Scout was her best friend and that's all she was ever going to be. _It was normal to care about your close friend, to want to be around them all the time and to feel sad when you were away from them, wasn't it? _That didn't make her gay.

Scout was there for her and she understood that families sucked. They had a connection that way, bonded by both having siblings they missed and mums that were useless. It was nice for Emily to have someone to talk to, a person who actually knew what she was talking about for a change. Her mum didn't have the slightest clue. The best thing was that Scout didn't treat her like a kid or try and patronise her like adults did. She was cool and tough and she made Emily feel like less of a loser.

People respected Jodi Allen. She was cheeky, but charming with it, something Emily could never master. Most importantly, Scout wasn't afraid to just tell things like they were. Emily had never had that before and it was refreshing. She didn't have to try and second guess her or worry that she was keeping secrets. Scout was always totally honest, even if it got her into trouble, Em admired that about her. It occurred to Emily that her feelings could just be a reflection of their close friendship. _Maybe it was perfectly normal_. She hoped so, the alternative was a daunting prospect.

After all, she had never really had any close girl mates before, so how would she know? _Perhaps this is how it's supposed to be? _Em wished Lindsey was here, she would know about this kind of stuff, she was smart. _I just miss my sister, that's all it is. _It was true. When Lindsey had gone she left a void in Emily's life, and she thought she would never be happy again, but she was, thanks mainly to Scout. It wasn't just that it was nice to have someone to do girly things with again, although that was part of it, it was more than that.

What frightened her most about all this was how deep her feelings might run. There was always that niggling thought in the back her mind, that she may actually love the girl. That idea was alarming. Emily had already put herself in serious danger to impress Scout. Even more disturbingly, she had done this, without any prompting or encouragement from the other girl. Scout didn't return her feelings and she never would, so why had she done it? It was for nothing. Was she that far gone? How far would she go? All because she couldn't stand how her friend had talked about Phoenix. The look she had in her eye. It was stupid, he was her boyfriend for god sake, and what right did Emily have to be jealous of that?

_We're just friends, that's it, get it together Ems. _She told herself. She wondered if maybe she should get a boyfriend. How could she know for sure until she did? She'd never given any of the boys at school a chance. Emily dismissed the idea off-hand, boys were too immature and too much hassle. Denzil was cool, but she couldn't bring herself to picture him in a romantic light. Despite people often mistaking them for a couple, Emily had never thought of him as anything more than a friend. She was realising now she never would. This was useless.

Nevertheless, Ems was worried though that someone would figure out her secret. Scout and some of the other girls were always banging on about lads they thought were cute. She nodded and smiled along so that they wouldn't think she was weird, but it was obvious her heart wasn't it in, they just didn't do anything for her. Em knew that wasn't that just a case of not having found the right boy. The simple fact was that she didn't want any boy. She wanted a girl. She wanted Jodi Allen. So what was she going to do about it? Soon Scout was going to be sharing her room, how could she hide this then?

Scout had already cottoned on to her lack of enthusiasm about boys and questioned her about it. Emily continually fobbed her off, usually with. "They're not my type."

Scout was persistent though. "You always say that. So who is your type then? Phoenix has plenty of fit mates, we could go on a double date and you know it'd be a right laugh."

_No way! _Emily had thought. It would be bad enough to be stuck in the company of some sweaty boy without having to watch Scout and Phoenix fawning all over each other all night. She couldn't risk that, she might do something reckless. Look what had happened last time, those drugs had made her really sick. Em tried not to let it show how much the idea freaked her out. Best to act as though she wasn't bothered either way, maybe then her friend would get bored and forget about any matchmaking schemes. It was going to be had enough to deal with her own emotions at the moment without throwing a boy into the mix.

"Nah, you're alright." Emily said, shrugging. She hoped that would be enough, she wasn't much of an actress or a very convincing liar.

"Come on! It'll be fun, you'll see!" Scout wasn't giving up.

Maybe double dates were normally fun, but this wasn't exactly an everyday situation. Emily racked her brain for an excuse. She needed something believable otherwise Scout would see through it a mile off. Despite first impressions, she was really clever and perceptive. Emily tried not to dwell on the list of Scout's good qualities; it wasn't exactly helping her plan to bury her feelings.

"Ummm...I'd love to, it's just, mum would go mad. You know what she's like. She acts like I'm a baby."

_That would do nicely. _There was just enough truth in the lie to make it sound plausible. Emily felt terrible for lying, but she couldn't tell her friend the real reason that she was so against the date. It wasn't fair, why couldn't she fancy Denzil, everything would be so much simpler then. Scout wouldn't ever want to hold her hand or go out on a proper date with her; she had Phoenix to do those things with. Scout wasn't like Emily, she didn't fancy girls.

It was all so confusing. "I don't want to okay!" She finally shouted. This was all too much. She couldn't cope, the girl really had no clue of the effect she was having. For one thing Scout was standing far too close and Emily was dazzled.

"Em what's wrong?" Scout was genuinely concerned. Emily felt bad; it wasn't the other girl's fault. It's not like she knew how badly this was hurting.

"Nothing." Emily sighed. She wished she hadn't said anything now. All her emotions were dangerously close to the surface.

"Tell me."

Scout put her arms around her friend and that was it. The simple contact tipped Emily over the edge. In her present state of mind, the friendly gesture overwhelmed her. _I have to do this_ she thought fleetingly _I have to know for sure_.Scout's face was just inches away. Before she had a chance to back out, Emily leant in and closed the gap. Their lips touched and in that instant there were no more denials_._ She knew that she wanted to kiss the girl a million times more and she never wanted this moment to end. _So I am gay._ She smiled. Whatever happened next, Emily didn't care. She had done it, she had finally kissed Scout.


End file.
